Are you happy? That’s the first question a friend of mine asked me after I told her about everything that I have been up to recently. Frankly, I don’t know the answer to that. I still am struggling with that question. Every decision you make leads you to something. Being an emotional person I tend to make stupid decision more often than not hence I really have to rethink most of my decisions again and again.
That being said I recently haven’t really been open to anybody. Sometimes I just feel like getting inside that shell of mine and not getting out of it ever. But obviously that’s not possible. Because the reason I tend to go inside my shell (something I know I need to accept and deal with) is because I am scared f being hurt. After having a meaningful conversation with a friend I know now that I’m being such a fool. “you cant keep pushing people away just because you think they’ll hurt you” these words kept repeating in head again and again because I didn’t see it as me pushing them away but rather guarding my heart and maintaining my distance with them.
Maybe its just me being a coward. The fact of the matter is people will hurt you. Anybody you love will hurt you at some point or the other. Loving people means putting yourself in that place but still having enough faith in them that they won’t hurt you. Nobody wants to feel vulnerable. If you think someone will hurt you and you can’t gain enough trust in them my advice to you will be, break it off before it hurts you both a lot more than it would right now.
Anyway my point being it’s okay to be scared to let people in but at the same time be wise in choosing whom you trust with your emotions and your energy. Investing your time and choosing the right kind of people or the wrong kind of people will both change you as a person. It can either enhance your insecurities or enhance your happiness.